help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
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