hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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