we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
