Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
