can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
