i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Mom said you looked used
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
