Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
