Got a toothbrush?
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
