Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
