so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Randomize
