Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
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