Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Randomize
