you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I didn't notice because vodka
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
