How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Randomize