HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
You smell like stripper and shame
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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