if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
