He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Randomize
