best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize