There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Randomize
