Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Randomize
