you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
