You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
