If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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