Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
