this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
