i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
My breasts were aching with rage.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Randomize
