You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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