I cockslap morals
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
