just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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