none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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