I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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