listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
