it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
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