I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
