glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Randomize