Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
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