He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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