I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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