There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize