i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Randomize
