guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Randomize