he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize