i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Found the puke drawer
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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