Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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