I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
