Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
