My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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