This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
