I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
