On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Ladies don't puke and tell
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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