So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
How does one acquire holy water?
Randomize
