butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
