Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
