he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
