he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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