The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
