Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I've blown a few things in my day
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
Randomize
