He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Randomize
