I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
