I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
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