Hey man sorry I got all grabby
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
