i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
