Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
i will never coherently bang her
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize